Breaking news(football)

BREAKING   NEWS!

London Minister of  defence Sir MARCOS ROJO  has asked Swede
Interior Minister
for foreign attacks HON. ZLATAN
IBRAHIMOVIC to release 764 Missiles  on the roof of LIVERPOOL post when the sides meet tomorrow.
According to reports in England Commander-in-Chief SUPT. JOSE
MOURINHO has signed a bill passed
by the Parliaments of OLDTRAFFORD
headed by Red Army Commander CAPTAIN WANYE ROONEY who said
that he received a call from Inspector PAUL POGBA earlier today
to Inform him that the President of
the GLAZER Family wants to declare war on LIVERPOOL. As a result each
members of the Parliament has been assigned to their respective
Administrative roles; Red Army Cmmander[Capt. Wanye Rooney] was assigned to prepare hundred Jets to Launch Missiles.
Minister of defence Sir MARCOS ROJO and PHIL JONES was assigned
to Assemble 1,254 bomb proof to
each of the Red Army Soldiers,
while Assistant Inspetors[A S P]
A. HERRERA and A. MARTIAL has been  Ordered to Gun down any fan wearing LIVERPOOL Jersey tomorrow.

                             HAPPY WEEKEND
TO
                             ALL THE MAN
UNITED FANS OUT THERE!!!!!

                           LOVE YOU
                                       ALL!

Messi and Ronaldo stats:messi is the best

*MESSI VS RONALDO CAREER STATS*
-------------------------------
*CRISTIANO: 2002-2016*
*LIONEL MESSI: 2004-2016*
-------------------------------
*Goals:*
Ronaldo: 563 goals in 818 games
Messi: 524 goals in 658 games
*[Ronaldo is only 39 goals ahead where Messi has 160 matches in hand to surpass them]*
-------------------------------
*Assists:*
Ronaldo: 187 in 818 games
Messi: 220 in 658 games
*[Messi is 33 assists ahead as well as having played 160 matches less than Ronaldo!]*
-------------------------------
*Hattricks:*
Ronaldo: 44 Hattricks in 818 games
Messi: 41 Hattricks in 658 games
*[Ronaldo is only 3 Hattricks ahead where Messi has 160 matches in hand to surpass them]*
-------------------------------
*Analysis of Hattricks:*
Ronaldo: 44 Hattricks, 50% of them with the help of a penalty!
Messi: 41 Hattricks, 25% of them with the help of a penalty!
-------------------------------
*Hattricks against Big teams*
*Messi's 17 Hattricks against big teams:*
Real Madrid x 2 [1 with penalties]
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽[PP]
Atletico x 3 [1 with a penalty]
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽[P]
Man City
⚽⚽⚽
Arsenal [4 goals]
⚽⚽⚽⚽
Brazil
⚽⚽⚽
Valencia x 4 [1 with 4 goals]
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽
Sevilla x 2
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽
Leverkusen [5 goals]
⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽
Ajax
⚽⚽⚽
Celtic
⚽⚽⚽
-------------------------------
*Ronaldo's 8 hattricks against big teams:*
Atletico x 2 [Both with a penalty]
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽[P][P]
Sevilla x 5 [1 with 4 goals and 2 with penalties]
⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽  ⚽⚽⚽[P][P]
Wolfsburg [Perfect hattrick]
⚽⚽⚽
-------------------------------
*Messi's 17 hattricks in analysis came vs 10 different big opposition*
*Cristiano's 8 hattricks in analysis came vs 3 different big opposition*
-------------------------------
*Trophies:*
Ronaldo: 19 Trophies at the age of 32!
Messi: 29 Trophies at the age of 29!
*[Messi has played 160 matches less than Ronaldo but has 10 more trophies.]*
-------------------------------
*Goals in Finals:*
*Messi: 25 goals in 29 Finals*
[25 goals in 24 finals for Barca and 0 for Argentina in 5 finals inc appearance in Confed Cup final as a 19 yr old]
*Ronaldo: 11 goals in 20 Finals*
[11 goals in 18 finals for Man U and Madrid n 0 for Portugal in 2 finals]
*[Messi has played 9 more finals and scored 14 more goals]*
-------------------------------
*Ballon D'ors:*
Ronaldo: 4 Ballon D'ors
Messi: 5 Ballon D'ors
*[Messi has played 160 less matches and we all know that 5>>>>>>>>>>4]*
-------------------------------
*STANDOUT RECORDS*
Record Calendar year goals:
*MESSI 91-69 CRISTIANO*
-------------------------------
Record Season goals:
*MESSI 73- 61 CRISTIANO*
-------------------------------
Record Liga/League season goals:
*MESSI 50-48 CRISTIANO*
-------------------------------
Record UEFA season goals:
*MESSI 14-17 CRISTIANO*
-------------------------------
*STOP ARGUING ABOUgT THESE 2 PLAYERS AND LET THE NUMBERS DO THE TALKING*

From #ORACLE#
Zapata ❄❄❄

Funny

1- When your girlfriend meets a rich man you say she’s a gold digger…………But when your sister meets a rich man you say it’s God’s favour,
My brother the thunder that will strike you is still in camp. 2- You are shy to remove your sister’s panties from the drying line when its about to rain But you can remove the panties of someone’s
sister with your teeth. My brother calm down I ordered your thunder from jumia, it’s cheap. 3- Recently i was at a virgin’s funeral the preacher shook his head in disappointment and concluded his speech with the following words before she was put to rest ,”Now you have
given termites what you denied men!” All guyz shouted,”AMEN”.. 4- Dear ladies, the way you keep quiet when you find money in your man’s pockets while doing
his laundry, is also the same way you must keep quiet when you find used condoms in there….. 5- Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father 6- Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real 7- They say milk gives strength. I have drunk 4 cups of milk and i was not even able to move a wall. But when i drank 4 bottles of beer, i saw walls moving themselves. Hmmmm These scientists should stop their lies

Comedy

������I cant stop laffin
Just love these kids
Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!����

������
Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds
_______________________________
TEACHER:    Joseph, go to the map and find North America .
JOSEPH:         Here it is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Joseph.
_______________________________
TEACHER:    Wale, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
WALE:          You told me to do it without using the tables.
_______________________________
TEACHER:  Adigun , how do you spell 'crocodile?'
ADIGUN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
ADIGUN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
(I  Love this child)
_______________________________
TEACHER:   Rebecca , what is the chemical formula for water?
REBECCA :     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
REBECCA:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
_______________________________
TEACHER:   Moses, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
MOSES:       Me!
_______________________________
TEACHER:   Abraham, why do you always get so dirty?        
ABRAHAM:          Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are.     
_______________________________
TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Peter , do you know why his father didn't punish him?
PETER:          Because George still had  the axe in his hand......    

______________________________
TEACHER:       Kehinde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
KEHINDE :         No sir, It's the same dog.    
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
____________________________
TEACHER:    Femi, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
FEMI:     A teacher
_______________________________
PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!����

comedy of the day

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Some Nigerians can be very funny. I saw these abbreviations somewhere and it caught my attention.
Look at them .......
NAIRA - Never Allow Igbos Rule Again
PHCN - Problem Has Changed Name
HAUSA - House Animals Using Seat of Authority
APC - Association of Past Criminals
NYSC - Now Your Struggles Continue
PDP - People Deceiving People.
MTN - Maintain Total Nonsense
ABACHA - After Babangida Another Criminal Has Arrived
NEPA - Never Expect Power Always
BUHARI - Brought Unnecessary Hardship Among Reasonable Individuals.
Don't laugh alone.......Let others laugh with you.

Premier league news

Gabriel Jesus not yet registered to play for Man City

Manchester City have not yet registered Gabriel Jesus with the Football Association and he will not be eligible to play against Everton on Sunday.

The final confirmation did not arrive before the registration deadline on Friday afternoon, meaning Jesus will have to wait to make his City debut.

But while it is understood he has already conducted his first interview as a City player and that relevant photoshoots have taken place, his official unveiling is on hold until he is registered with the FA.

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Premier league news

Wenger blames January transfer window for Payet situation at West Ham

Arsene Wenger has been surprised by Dimitri Payet expressing his wish to leave West Ham but has blamed the transfer window for unsettling players in January.

On Thursday, Hammers boss Slaven Bilic revealed Payet wanted a move and would not be training with the first team until his attitude changes.

"The boy is not known for having a bad mentality. What is suddenly happening to him, I don't know. Only they can explain that." When asked if having a transfer window was to blame for players declaring their desire to move, Wenger was in no doubt. He added: "I always was against it. You would not have this kind of story."

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Ronaldo wins 2016 salon d'or award

Ronaldo trumps Messi, Neymar, Pogba & Giroud in haircut popularity contest

Cristiano Ronaldo has been revealed as the footballer with the most popular hairstyle in 2016 by Google, finishing clear of the likes of Lionel Messi and Paul Pogba.

The Real Madrid No.7 was voted the winner of the annual Salon d'Or award, by website Goal, once again on Thursday, having already finished on top 12 months ago.

Manchester United midfielder Pogba is renowned for his cool haircuts and came just behind the Clasico trio, while Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud showed his influence as a football fashion icon in fifth.

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Transfer news

Real Madrid target Aubameyang 'has his price', says Dortmund chief Watzke

Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke has admitted Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang could leave the club if the price is right, but he is confident the Gabon international will remain for the foreseeable future.

Aubameyang is continually being linked with a move away from the Bundesliga club, with Real Madrid reported to be topping his list of admirers.

"Of course, everyone has his price in football, regardless of who we are talking about. But we are not even thinking about a transfer at the moment, because there is nothing happening for now."

"And if an offer comes in that does turn his head, we will sit down and discuss it. But even that does not mean he will definitely leave. Auba still has a long-term contract here [until 2020]," he said.

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Premier league news

Zlatan: I taught Mkhitaryan how to do the scorpion kick!

Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has claimed that he showed team-mate Henrikh Mkhitaryan how to perform the scorpion kick goal he scored against Sunderland.

Ibrahimovic's goalscoring exploits saw him win the Premier League Player of the Month award for December, but Mkhitaryan lifted the Goal of the Month trophy following his acrobatic effort in the Boxing Day clash.

Due to his Player of the Month win, Ibrahimovic also receives a special version of his FIFA 17 Ultimate Team card with improved statistics, which is available to players through special Squad Building Challenges.

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Premier league news

Man Utd land double as Ibrahimovic & Mkhitaryan win Player & Goal of the Month awards

Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been named the Premier League's Player of the Month for December.

United won five and drew another of those six games, with Ibrahimovic's league tally now up to 13 for the season, just one behind Chelsea's Diego Costa at the top of the scoring charts.

He is the first United player to win the award this season, with Raheem Sterling, Son Heung-min, Eden Hazard and Costa the previous winners.

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Premier league news

Conte sets Premier League record with third Manager of the Month award in a row

Antonio Conte has set a Premier League record by being named Manager of the Month for the third time in a row.

The Chelsea manager has taken the award for December after his side won all five of their league matches against Manchester City, West Brom, Sunderland, Crystal Palace and Bournemouth.

Conte also took the awards for October and November, as Chelsea embarked on a 13-match winning streak that leaves them with a five-point advantage over nearest challengers Liverpool.

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Premier league statistic

*PREMIER LEAGUE STATISTICS*
*wins*
1. Chelsea 16
2. Liverpool 13
3. Manchester City 13
4. Arsenal 12
5. Tottenham Hotspur 12
6. Manchester United 11
7. Everton 8
8. West Bromwich Albion 8
9. Bournemouth 7
10. Burnley 7
11. Southampton 6
12. Stoke City 6
13. Watford 6
14. West Ham United 6
15. Leicester City 5
16. Crystal Palace 4
17. Middlesbrough 4
18. Sunderland 4
19. Swansea City 4
20. Hull City 3
*Losses*
1. Hull City 13
2. Sunderland 13
3. Swansea City 13
4. Crystal Palace 12
5. Burnley 11
6. Watford 10
7. West Ham United 10
8. Bournemouth 9
9. Leicester City 9
10. Middlesbrough 9
11. Southampton 8
12. Stoke City 8
13. West Bromwich Albion 7
14. Everton 6
15. Manchester City 4
16. Arsenal 3
17. Chelsea 3
18. Manchester United 3
19. Liverpool 2
20. Tottenham Hotspur 2
*goals*
1. Liverpool 48
2. Arsenal 44
3. Chelsea 42
4. Manchester City 41
5. Tottenham Hotspur 39
6. Manchester United 31
7. Crystal Palace 30
8. AFC Bournemouth 29
9. Everton 28
10. West Bromwich Albion 28
11. Leicester City 24
12. Stoke City 24
13. Swansea City 23
14. Watford 23
15. West Ham United 23
16. Burnley 22
17. Southampton 19
18. Sunderland 19
19. Hull City 17
20. Middlesbrough 17
*yellow cards*
1. Watford 47
2. Manchester United 46
3. Crystal Palace 45
4. Chelsea 44
5. Middlesbrough 44
6. West Bromwich Albion 44
7. Leicester City 43
8. West Ham United 43
9. Sunderland 42
10. Everton 40
11. Manchester City 40
12. Tottenham Hotspur 38
13. Burnley 37
14. Stoke City 36
15. Arsenal 34
16. Southampton 34
17. Bournemouth 32
18. Hull City 30
19. Liverpool 30
20. Swansea City 29
*red cards*
1. Manchester City 4
2. Sunderland 3
3. Watford 3
4. West Ham United 3
5. Bournemouth 2
6. Hull City 2
7. Southampton 2
8. Arsenal 1
9. Everton 1
10. Leicester City 1
11. Manchester United 1
12. Stoke City 1
*shots*
1. Tottenham Hotspur 363
2. Liverpool 352
3. Manchester United 341
4. Manchester City 327
5. Arsenal 305
6. Chelsea 305
7. Southampton 292
8. West Ham United 279
9. Everton 261
10. Crystal Palace 243
11. Bournemouth 235
12. Stoke City 230
13. Swansea City 230
14. Leicester City 221
15. Watford 213
16. Hull City 209
17. West Bromwich Albion 203
18. Sunderland 197
19. Burnley 189
20. Middlesbrough 182
*Shots On Target*
1. Liverpool 131
2. Tottenham Hotspur 124
3. Manchester United 120
4. Chelsea 109
5. Manchester City 109
6. Arsenal 102
7. Everton 96
8. Southampton 94
9. Swansea City 85
10. Bournemouth 82
11. Crystal Palace 82
12. Stoke City 74
13. Watford 72
14. Hull City 71
15. Leicester City 70
16. West Ham United 69
17. West Bromwich Albion 64
18. Burnley 61
19. Sunderland 58
20. Middlesbrough 50
*Hit Woodwork*
1. Manchester United 14
2. AFC Bournemouth 13
3. Manchester City 12
4. Tottenham Hotspur 11
5. Arsenal 10
6. Liverpool 10
7. Stoke City 10
8. West Ham United 9
9. Southampton 8
10. Chelsea 7
11. Everton 7
12. Hull City 5
13. Leicester City 5
14. Crystal Palace 4
15. Middlesbrough 4
16. Swansea City 4
17. Burnley 3
18. Watford 3
19. West Bromwich Albion 3
20. Sunderland 1
*Goals With Header*
1. Arsenal 11
2. West Bromwich Albion 11
3. West Ham United 10
4. Crystal Palace 9
5. Everton 9
6. Liverpool 8
7. Manchester United 7
8. Leicester City 6
9. Middlesbrough 6
10. Tottenham Hotspur 6
11. Bournemouth 5
12. Swansea City 5
13. Manchester City 3
14. Southampton 3
15. Stoke City 3
16. Watford 3
17. Burnley 2
18. Chelsea 2
19. Hull City 1
*Penalties Scored*
1. Liverpool 5
2. Sunderland 5
3. AFC Bournemouth 4
4. Leicester City 4
5. Manchester City 4
6. Tottenham Hotspur 4
7. Stoke City 3
8. Swansea City 3
9. West Ham United 3
10. Arsenal 2
11. Burnley 2
12. Chelsea 2
13. Crystal Palace 2
14. Everton 2
15. Hull City 2
16. Southampton 2
17. Watford 2
18. Manchester United 1
19. Middlesbrough 1
20. West Bromwich Albion 1
*Goals From Freekick*
1. Everton 2
2. Hull City 2
3. Manchester City 2
4. Stoke City 2
5. Arsenal 1
6. Burnley 1
7. Liverpool 1
8. Swansea City 1
9. West Bromwich Albion 1
10. West Ham United 1
*Goals From Inside Box*
1. Liverpool 41
2. Arsenal 40
3. Tottenham Hotspur 38
4. Chelsea 37
5. Manchester City 36
6. Crystal Palace 28
7. Manchester United 27
8. AFC Bournemouth 26
9. Everton 26
10. West Bromwich Albion 24
11. Swansea City 21
12. Watford 21
13. West Ham United 21
14. Leicester City 20
15. Stoke City 20
16. Sunderland 18
17. Burnley 16
18. Middlesbrough 16
19. Southampton 16
20. Hull City 14
*Goals From Outside Box*
1. Liverpool 7
2. Burnley 6
3. Chelsea 5
4. Manchester City 5
5. Arsenal 4
6. Leicester City 4
7. Manchester United 4
8. Stoke City 4
9. West Bromwich Albion 4
10. AFC Bournemouth 3
11. Hull City 3
12. Southampton 3
13. Crystal Palace 2
14. Everton 2
15. Swansea City 2
16. Watford 2
17. West Ham United 2
18. Middlesbrough 1
19. Sunderland 1
20. Tottenham Hotspur 1
*Goals From Counter Attack*
1. Chelsea 3
2. Manchester City 3
3. Arsenal 2
4. Burnley 2
5. Tottenham Hotspur 2
6. West Bromwich Albion 2
7. Bournemouth 1
8. Leicester City 1
9. Manchester United 1
10. Middlesbrough 1
*offsides*
1. Burnley 59
2. Manchester United 55
3. Arsenal 51
4. Manchester City 47
5. Everton 45
6. Hull City 43
7. Stoke City 43
8. Liverpool 41
9. Tottenham Hotspur 39
10. Chelsea 38
11. Southampton 37
12. Sunderland 37
13. West Ham United 37
14. Bournemouth 31
15. West Bromwich Albion 31
16. Leicester City 30
17. Crystal Palace 29
18. Swansea City 29
19. Middlesbrough 27
20. Watford 27
*clean sheets*
1. Chelsea 11
2. Tottenham Hotspur 8
3. Manchester United 7
4. Southampton 7
5. Arsenal 6
6. Bournemouth 6
7. Liverpool 6
8. Middlesbrough 6
9. Stoke City 6
10. Everton 5
11. Leicester City 5
12. West Ham United 5
13. Burnley 4
14. Manchester City 4
15. Swansea City 3
16. Watford 3
17. West Bromwich Albion 3
18. Sunderland 2
19. Crystal Palace 1
20. Hull City 1
*Goals Conceded*
1. Swansea City 45
2. Hull City 44
3. Crystal Palace 37
4. Sunderland 37
5. Watford 36
6. West Ham United 35
7. AFC Bournemouth 34
8. Stoke City 32
9. Burnley 31
10. Leicester City 31
11. Southampton 25
12. West Bromwich Albion 24
13. Everton 23
14. Liverpool 23
15. Arsenal 22
16. Manchester City 22
17. Middlesbrough 22
18. Manchester United 19
19. Chelsea 15
20. Tottenham Hotspur 14
*saves*
1. Sunderland 92
2. Burnley 87
3. Hull City 78
4. West Ham United 73
5. West Bromwich Albion 70
6. Leicester City 65
7. Stoke City 65
8. Swansea City 61
9. AFC Bournemouth 59
10. Crystal Palace 58
11. Middlesbrough 56
12. Watford 56
13. Arsenal 54
14. Everton 45
15. Manchester United 43
16. Tottenham Hotspur 43
17. Liverpool 40
18. Manchester City 36
19. Chelsea 35
20. Southampton 32
*blocks*
1. Hull City 121
2. Burnley 119
3. Sunderland 85
4. Stoke City 84
5. Middlesbrough 82
6. AFC Bournemouth 80
7. Everton 77
8. Swansea City 76
9. Leicester City 74
10. West Bromwich Albion 72
11. Watford 66
12. Crystal Palace 64
13. Tottenham Hotspur 61
14. West Ham United 61
15. Southampton 54
16. Manchester United 48
17. Arsenal 45
18. Chelsea 43
19. Liverpool 41
20. Manchester City 32
*Interceptions*
1. West Ham United 352
2. Manchester United 351
3. Arsenal 339
4. Burnley 323
5. Middlesbrough 322
6. Sunderland 315
7. Crystal Palace 305
8. Hull City 303
9. West Bromwich Albion 288
10. Chelsea 287
11. Leicester City 287
12. Southampton 285
13. Swansea City 273
14. Watford 273
15. Manchester City 259
16. AFC Bournemouth 250
17. Everton 244
18. Stoke City 239
19. Liverpool 216
20. Tottenham Hotspur 177

Predictions for the rest of bpl

At the same time, though, one thing seems clear: This is going to be a season in which all of the top six accrue a higher-than-normal points total. The average for fourth place over the past five seasons has been 71.4 points; far more are likely to be needed in the current campaign to secure Champions League football.

With that in mind, here are predictions for the remaining 18 rounds.

1. Chelsea (87 points)

Currently: First, 49 points

Wins: Hull (h), Arsenal (h), Burnley (a), Swansea (h), Watford (h), Crystal Palace (h), Man City (h), Southampton (h), Everton (h), West Brom (a), Sunderland (h)

Draws: Leicester (a), Liverpool (a), West Ham (a), Bournemouth (a), Middlesbrough (h)

Losses: Stoke (a), Man United (a)

2. Manchester City (84)

Currently: Fourth, 43 points

Wins: Swansea (h), Bournemouth (a), Sunderland (h), Stoke (h), Liverpool (h), Arsenal (a), Hull (h), West Brom (h), Middlesbrough (a), Crystal Palace (h), Leicester (h), Watford (a)

Draws: Everton (h), West Ham (a), Tottenham (h), Man United (h), Southampton (a)

Losses: Chelsea (a)

3. Liverpool (82)

Currently: Second, 44 points

Wins: Swansea (h), Hull (a), Leicester (a), Burnley (h), Everton (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h), Watford (a), Southampton (h), West Ham (a), Middlesbrough (h)

Draws: Man United (a), Chelsea (h), Arsenal (h), Tottenham (h), Stoke (a)

Losses: Man City (a), West Brom (a)

4. Tottenham (77)

Currently: Third, 42 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Sunderland (a), Middlesbrough (h), Stoke (h), Southampton (h), Swansea (a), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h), Hull (a)

Draws: Man City (a), Liverpool (a), Everton (h), Burnley (a), Leicester (a), Arsenal (h), West Ham (a), Man United (h)

Losses: Crystal Palace (a)

Too many draws with put paid to Tottenham's Premier League title hopes.

5. Manchester United (77)

Currently: Sixth, 39 points

Wins: Hull (h), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h), Southampton (a), Leicester (a), West Brom (h), Everton (h), Sunderland (a), Chelsea (h), Swansea (h), Crystal Palace (h),

Draws: Liverpool (h), Stoke (a), Man City (a), Arsenal (a), Tottenham (a)

Losses: Middlesbrough (a), Burnley (a)

6. Arsenal (76)

Currently: Fifth, 41 points

Wins: Swansea (a), Burnley (h), Watford (h), Hull (h), Leicester (h), West Ham (h), Crystal Palace (a), Middlesbrough (a), Sunderland (h), Stoke (a)

Draws: West Brom (a), Tottenham (a), Man United (h), Liverpool (a), Everton (h)

Losses: Chelsea (a), Southampton (a), Man City (h)

7. Everton (54)

Currently: Seventh, 30 points

Wins: Bournemouth (h), Sunderland (h), West Brom (h), Hull (h), Burnley (h), Watford (h)

Draws: Man City (h), Stoke (a), Middlesbrough (a), Tottenham (a), Swansea (a), Arsenal (a)

Losses: Crystal Palace (a), Liverpool (a), Man United (a), Leicester (h), West Ham (a), Chelsea (a),

8. West Brom (47)

Currently: Eighth, 29 points

Wins: Sunderland (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h), Liverpool (h)

Draws: Stoke (h), Arsenal (h), Watford (a), Southampton (h), Leicester (h), Swansea (a)

Losses: Tottenham (a), Middlesbrough (a), West Ham (a), Everton (a), Man United (a), Man City (a), Burnley (a), Chelsea (h)

9. Leicester (45)

Currently: 15th, 21 points

Wins: Swansea (a), Hull (h), Stoke (h), Sunderland (h), Everton (a), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h)

Draws: Chelsea (h), Burnley (a), Tottenham (h), West Brom (a)

Losses: Southampton (a), Liverpool (h), Crystal Palace (a), Arsenal (a), Man United (h), West Ham (a), Man City (a)

There will be no repeat of last season's celebrations, but Leicester will be good enough for a top-10 finish.

10. Bournemouth (44)

Currently: Ninth, 25 points

Wins: Watford (h), West Ham (h), Swansea (h), Middlesbrough (h), Stoke (h)

Draws: Hull (a), Crystal Palace (h), Chelsea (h), Burnley (h)

Losses: Everton (a), Man City (h), West Brom (a), Man United (a), Southampton (a), Liverpool (a), Tottenham (a), Sunderland (a), Leicester (a)

11. Stoke (44)

Currently: 11th, 24 points

Wins: Sunderland (a), Middlesbrough (h), Chelsea (h), West Ham (h), Hull (h)

Draws: Man United (h), Everton (h), West Brom (a), Liverpool (h), Southampton (a)

Losses: Crystal Palace (h), Tottenham (a), Man City (a), Leicester (a), Burnley (a), Swansea (a), Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (h)

12. Southampton (42)

Currently: 10th, 24 points

Wins: Leicester (h), Arsenal (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h)

Draws: Burnley (a), West Ham (h), West Brom (a), Man City (h), Middlesbrough (a), Stoke (h)

Losses: Swansea (a), Sunderland (a), Watford (a), Man United (h), Tottenham (a), Chelsea (a), Hull (h), Liverpool (a)

13. West Ham (41)

Currently: 13th, 22 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Leicester City (h), Swansea (h), Everton (h)

Draws: Crystal Palace (h), Man City (h), Middlesbrough (a), Southampton (a), Chelsea (h), Hull (a), Tottenham (h)

Losses: Watford (a), Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (a), Sunderland (a), Stoke (a), Liverpool (h), Burnley (a)

14. Burnley (40)

Currently: 12th, 23 points

Wins: Stoke (h), Man United (h), West Brom (h), West Ham (h)

Draws: Southampton (h), Leicester (h), Sunderland (a), Tottenham (h), Bournemouth (a)

Losses: Arsenal (a), Watford (a), Chelsea (h), Hull (a), Swansea (a), Liverpool (a), Middlesbrough (a), Everton (a), Crystal Palace (a)

Burnley's strong home form will be enough to save them from relegation.

15. Crystal Palace (39)

Currently: 17th, 16 points

Wins: Everton (h), Stoke (a), Tottenham (h), Burnley (h), Hull (h), Leicester (h)

Draws: West Ham (a), Bournemouth (a), Sunderland (h), Middlesbrough (h), Watford (h),

Losses: West Brom (a), Chelsea (a), Southampton (a), Arsenal (h), Liverpool (a), Man City (a), Man United (a)

16. Watford (38)

Currently: 14th, 22 points

Wins: Burnley (h), West Ham (h), Southampton (h), Sunderland (h)

Draws: Middlesbrough (h), Crystal Palace (a), West Brom (h), Hull (a)

Losses: Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (a), Man United (a), Chelsea (a), Tottenham (a), Swansea (h), Liverpool (h), Leicester (a), Everton (a), Man City (h)

17. Middlesbrough (36)

Currently: 16th, 19 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Man United (h), Burnley (h)

Draws: Watford (a), West Ham (h), Everton (h), Crystal Palace (a), Sunderland (h), Swansea (a), Chelsea (a), Southampton (h)

Losses: Tottenham (a), Stoke (a), Hull (a), Arsenal (h), Bournemouth (a), Man City (h), Liverpool (a)

18. Swansea (32)

Currently: 19th, 15 points

Wins: Southampton (h), Burnley (h), Watford (h), Stoke (h)

Draws: Hull (a), Middlesbrough (h), Everton (h), Sunderland (a), West Brom (h)

Losses: Arsenal (h), Liverpool (a), Man City (a), Leicester (h), Chelsea (a), Bournemouth (a), West Ham (a), Man United (a), Tottenham (h)

19. Sunderland (31)

Currently: 18th, 15 points

Wins: Southampton (h), West Ham (h), Bournemouth (h), Hull (a)

Draws: Crystal Palace (a), Middlesbrough (a), Burnley (h), Swansea (h)

Losses: Stoke (h), West Brom (a), Tottenham (h), Everton (a), Man City (h), Watford (a), Leicester (a), Man United (h), Arsenal (a), Chelsea (a)

20. Hull (26)

Currently: 20th, 13 points

Wins: Burnley (h), Middlesbrough (h), Southampton (a)

Draws: Bournemouth (h), Swansea (h), West Ham (h), Watford (h)

Losses: Chelsea (a), Man United (a), Liverpool (h), Arsenal (a), Leicester (a), Everton (a), Stoke (a), Man City (a), Sunderland (h), Crystal Palace (a), Tottenham (h)

Mobile phone(safety use)

*CAN ELECTRICITY ENTER OUR BODY THROUGH THE FLASH OF DIGITAL CAMERA...?
*Yes 100% it can happen........*

�� This is a true incident, which happened with a 21 year old boy
studying engineering. He died in Keshwani hospital. He was admitted
in the hospital in burned conditions.

�� The reason........??
He went to Amrawati for study tour, while coming back, he was waiting for train at railway station along with his friends.
Many of them were taking group photo in their mobiles with digital camera.

�� This boy was also there and trying to take group photo. The place where this
boy was standing, complete group photo was not coming. So to get complete group
photo he went a little back.

�� The place where he was standing, there was a electric wire with 40,000 volt. As soon as he pressed the button of digital camera, the electricity of 40,000 volt entered the camera through the flash and then the fingers and then whole body.

�� All this happened in a fraction of few seconds and his 50% of his body was burnt, in that condition he was brought to Keshwani hospital , and then to Mumbai in an ambulance. He was unconscious for 1 and 1/2 days. As his body 50% burnt, doctors were having less hope for him. Later on he died.

�� Avoid using mobile phones at petrol pumps.

�� Avoid using mobile phones when you are driving.

�� When mobile is on charging don't receive call,
1st remove the charging pin and then receive the call.

�� When mobile is on charge don't put it on bed or wooden furniture.

�� Pls don't use mobile phone/digital camera -flash at railway stations or any other place, where there is a heavy electricity wire.

��Don't use mobile phones where there is high electromagnetic waves or near electricity  transformers etc.

��Don't use mobile phone in the rain during lightning and thunder and if you must stay far away from windows and doors..

Pls do share with all your family & friends.

American and Nigerian relationship

AMERICAN  RELATIONSHIP
1st day = Date
2nd day = Hug
3rd day = Hug again
4th day = Kiss
5th day = Long kiss
6th day = Sex
AFRICAN  RELATIONSHIP
1st day = KFC
2nd day = Chicken inn
3rd day = Pizza Inn
4th day = Agree
5th day = Date
6th day = Tried to hug but failed...
7th day = Hug
8th day = Tried to kiss but failed...
9th day = Kiss
10th day = Long kiss
11th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
12th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
13th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
14th day = RAPE!!!!!

��������������
��������������������������������

2go arena

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Top football news

Manchester United are in talks with Atletico Madrid over a £60m deal for their 25-year-old French forward Antoine Griezmann.

United are also in negotiations to sign Benfica's 23-year-old right-back Nelson Semedo.

Barcelona will have to do without Lionel Messi for their final game of 2016 but club president Josep Maria Bartomeu is confident the Argentine's short-term absence will not end up becoming a permanent one.

Real Madrid forward James Rodriguez has been spotted at the British Embassy in Colombia ahead of potential move to Chelsea or Manchester United.

Semedo has a £54m buy-out clause in his contract with Benfica, but United would expect to pay significantly less.

Wolfsburg's 23-year-old attacking midfielder Julian Draxler, previously a target for Arsenal, has agreed a £34m move to Paris St-Germain.

The Gunners are interested in signing Valencia's 21-year-old Spanish left-back Jose Gaya.

Chelsea will reject loan offers for their 23-year-old Belgian forward Michy Batshuayi in January.

Real Madrid's 25-year-old attacking midfielder James Rodriguez is being offered to Premier League clubs.

As the Spanish season enters its winter break, Rodriguez will spend Christmas in his native Colombia, where he will also apply for a visa to travel to England.

Barcelona’s Sergi Roberto believes Real Madrid have ‘had a bit of luck so far’ this season due to scoring so many late goals.

Marco Verratti’s agent confirms “offers from Italy” but “you’d have to ask Paris Saint-Germain”.
The midfielder has never actually played in Serie A, having left Serie B outfit Pescara to join the Parisian side in 2012.

Atletico Madrid midfielder Koke is confident that manager Diego Simeone will remain at the club next season despite speculation over his future.

Liverpool defender Joel Matip could face a three-week suspension over his decision to turn down a call-up from Cameroon for the African Cup of Nations.

Gian Piero Gasperini is confident Atalanta “won’t let anyone leave between now and June”.
The Orobici beat Empoli tonight to maintain sixth-place in Serie A, and their form has led to interest in the likes of Mattia Caldara, Roberto Gagliardini and Franck Kessié.

Franck Kessié confirms Atalanta are “thinking about a European place” after their last-gasp win over Empoli.

West Ham are plotting an ambitious loan move in January for Anthony Martial or Marcus Rashford.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic believes Swedish counterpart Victor Lindelof is ready to make the move from Benfica to join him at Manchester United.

United also have their eye on right-back Nelson Semedo, a team-mate of Lindelof's in Lisbon.

Arsene Wenger is targeting Valencia's highly-promising Jose Gaya as he looks to bolster the Arsenal squad.

Hull are lining up Swansea winger Jefferson Montero if they need to replace Robert Snodgrass, who is a target for West Brom and Celtic in January.

Nottingham Forest risk losing stars such as skipper Henri Lansbury next month after owner Fawaz al-Hasawi put a block on new contracts until he sells up.

New manager Gianfranco Zola will make Burnley reserve striker Lukas Jutkiewicz his first signing at Championship side Birmingham City when the transfer window opens in January.

Jonjo Shelvey is considering an appeal after being found guilty of racially abusing an opponent.

Manchester United owners want Jose Mourinho to stay until 2025.

Manchester United midfielder Marouane Fellaini has been spotted in Milan ahead of a possible move to Italy in the January transfer window.

West Brom are set to sign Aston Villa's 28-year-old striker Rudy Gestede for £7m in January, with Villa lining up Brentford forward Scott Hogan, 24, as a replacement.

Hull will try to sign 27-year-old winger Jefferson Montero from Swansea if they lose 29-year-old midfielder Robert Snodgrass to West Brom.

Arsenal are interested in signing Standard Liege's 22-year-old Belgian goalkeeper Guillaume Hubert and have sent scouts to watch him play six times this season.

In a case of mistaken identity, Erik Pieters has had his yellow card against Leicester rescinded and given to fellow Stoke defender Bruno Martins Indi instead.

Newcastle are set to appeal against the five-game ban given to Jonjo Shelvey for using racially abusive language.

Victor Lindelof, the 22-year-old Benfica defender reportedly being targeted by Manchester United, nearly signed for Middlesbrough last year.

French authorities have opened an investigation into possible tax fraud after studying documents released by a collaborative team of European journalists in early December, known as Football Leaks.

Birmingham City are interested in signing Nottingham Forest captain and midfielder Henri Lansbury, 26.

Bristol City's 19-year-old loanee striker Tammy Abraham believes he can succeed at parent club Chelsea, despite being one of 37 players the Premier League club has out on loan.

Manchester United winger Ashley Young, 31, is being targeted by Watford, Everton, Swansea, West Brom, Burnley and Hull.

Stoke winger Xherdan Shaqiri says he came close to joining Liverpool when Brendan Rodgers was in charge.

Bournemouth's 20-year-old striker Lys Mousset feels he has been "wasting my time" after playing just 23 minutes in the Premier League since joining from Le Havre in June.

However, Mousset is set to deny making the comments, and has the support of his club.

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