!!!!!!Breaking News!!!!!!
It is my great sympathy to inform u about the death of our beloved friend and well known gentlemen called Mr. 2016 he survived with 12 wives(months), 52 children(weeks) and 365 grand children (days). funeral will take place on Saturday 31st December at 23 59 hrs for more information contact January on phone number 01 01 2017 have a wonderful festive SEASON & Prosperous New Year.................SEND IT TO YOUR LOVED ONES
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Manchester United are in talks with Atletico Madrid over a £60m deal for their 25-year-old French forward Antoine Griezmann.
United are also in negotiations to sign Benfica's 23-year-old right-back Nelson Semedo.
Barcelona will have to do without Lionel Messi for their final game of 2016 but club president Josep Maria Bartomeu is confident the Argentine's short-term absence will not end up becoming a permanent one.
Real Madrid forward James Rodriguez has been spotted at the British Embassy in Colombia ahead of potential move to Chelsea or Manchester United.
Semedo has a £54m buy-out clause in his contract with Benfica, but United would expect to pay significantly less.
Wolfsburg's 23-year-old attacking midfielder Julian Draxler, previously a target for Arsenal, has agreed a £34m move to Paris St-Germain.
The Gunners are interested in signing Valencia's 21-year-old Spanish left-back Jose Gaya.
Chelsea will reject loan offers for their 23-year-old Belgian forward Michy Batshuayi in January.
Real Madrid's 25-year-old attacking midfielder James Rodriguez is being offered to Premier League clubs.
As the Spanish season enters its winter break, Rodriguez will spend Christmas in his native Colombia, where he will also apply for a visa to travel to England.
Barcelona’s Sergi Roberto believes Real Madrid have ‘had a bit of luck so far’ this season due to scoring so many late goals.
Marco Verratti’s agent confirms “offers from Italy” but “you’d have to ask Paris Saint-Germain”.
The midfielder has never actually played in Serie A, having left Serie B outfit Pescara to join the Parisian side in 2012.
Atletico Madrid midfielder Koke is confident that manager Diego Simeone will remain at the club next season despite speculation over his future.
Liverpool defender Joel Matip could face a three-week suspension over his decision to turn down a call-up from Cameroon for the African Cup of Nations.
Gian Piero Gasperini is confident Atalanta “won’t let anyone leave between now and June”.
The Orobici beat Empoli tonight to maintain sixth-place in Serie A, and their form has led to interest in the likes of Mattia Caldara, Roberto Gagliardini and Franck Kessié.
Franck Kessié confirms Atalanta are “thinking about a European place” after their last-gasp win over Empoli.
West Ham are plotting an ambitious loan move in January for Anthony Martial or Marcus Rashford.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic believes Swedish counterpart Victor Lindelof is ready to make the move from Benfica to join him at Manchester United.
United also have their eye on right-back Nelson Semedo, a team-mate of Lindelof's in Lisbon.
Arsene Wenger is targeting Valencia's highly-promising Jose Gaya as he looks to bolster the Arsenal squad.
Hull are lining up Swansea winger Jefferson Montero if they need to replace Robert Snodgrass, who is a target for West Brom and Celtic in January.
Nottingham Forest risk losing stars such as skipper Henri Lansbury next month after owner Fawaz al-Hasawi put a block on new contracts until he sells up.
New manager Gianfranco Zola will make Burnley reserve striker Lukas Jutkiewicz his first signing at Championship side Birmingham City when the transfer window opens in January.
Jonjo Shelvey is considering an appeal after being found guilty of racially abusing an opponent.
Manchester United owners want Jose Mourinho to stay until 2025.
Manchester United midfielder Marouane Fellaini has been spotted in Milan ahead of a possible move to Italy in the January transfer window.
West Brom are set to sign Aston Villa's 28-year-old striker Rudy Gestede for £7m in January, with Villa lining up Brentford forward Scott Hogan, 24, as a replacement.
Hull will try to sign 27-year-old winger Jefferson Montero from Swansea if they lose 29-year-old midfielder Robert Snodgrass to West Brom.
Arsenal are interested in signing Standard Liege's 22-year-old Belgian goalkeeper Guillaume Hubert and have sent scouts to watch him play six times this season.
In a case of mistaken identity, Erik Pieters has had his yellow card against Leicester rescinded and given to fellow Stoke defender Bruno Martins Indi instead.
Newcastle are set to appeal against the five-game ban given to Jonjo Shelvey for using racially abusive language.
Victor Lindelof, the 22-year-old Benfica defender reportedly being targeted by Manchester United, nearly signed for Middlesbrough last year.
French authorities have opened an investigation into possible tax fraud after studying documents released by a collaborative team of European journalists in early December, known as Football Leaks.
Birmingham City are interested in signing Nottingham Forest captain and midfielder Henri Lansbury, 26.
Bristol City's 19-year-old loanee striker Tammy Abraham believes he can succeed at parent club Chelsea, despite being one of 37 players the Premier League club has out on loan.
Manchester United winger Ashley Young, 31, is being targeted by Watford, Everton, Swansea, West Brom, Burnley and Hull.
Stoke winger Xherdan Shaqiri says he came close to joining Liverpool when Brendan Rodgers was in charge.
Bournemouth's 20-year-old striker Lys Mousset feels he has been "wasting my time" after playing just 23 minutes in the Premier League since joining from Le Havre in June.
However, Mousset is set to deny making the comments, and has the support of his club.
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A dog�� died and the owner took it to a pastor. He asked the pastor if he could organise a funeral service for the dead animal.
Pastor : no we cant hold a service for your dog in our church but there is a church down the street, maybe they will do it for you.
Man: but pastor will that church accept a donation of $ 1million����?
The pastor shouted "blood of Jesus" why didnt you tell me the dog was a christian?
Dont laugh alone������. Share with friends.
I Wanted to buy book in a bookshop,
then I saw some books with the following Titles:...
(1) How to look Beautiful/Handsome
by: Obasanjo.
I was confused!
(2). Food that will make you grow tall
by: Osita Iheme (pawpaw).
I was so confused!!
(3). My Love for Nigeria
by: Abubakar Shekau.
very surprised!
(4). Tips on how to get Married
by: Genevieve Nnaji.
I was shocked!
(5).The Joy of Poverty
by: Aliko Dangote.
Over shocked!!
(6).Guidelines on how to pass your English Language.
by: Patience Jonathan.
I just fainted!!!!!
Abeg if it's u,
which of them would you buy???j
����....
�� Conductor asked one of his passengers:
Wey ur money?
Passenger replied: I b staff.
Conductor queried: Which kind staff u b?
-u b police?
No!
-u b soldier?
No!
-u b navy?
No!
-u b air force?
No!
So wetin u be now! Abeg pay ya money
D passnger replied: I b Boko haram!
����������
All d passngers shouted: WHAAT!!! Conductor u dey mad? Oga Boko sorry sir,abeg no vex,we go pay 4 u sir. Everybdy screamed;DRIVER NEXT JUNCTION OWA O!. Driver said e be like na here i go drop too!
������ Abi if you are there will you continue with your journey?
Don't laugh alone share it!..����
Dumb Akpos
Akpos lived in a village in Warri, Nigeria. None of his
classmates liked him because of his stupidity,
especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him,
“You are driving me crazy Akpos!”
One day Akpos’ mother came to the school to check
on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother
honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting
very low marks and had never seen such a dumb boy
in her entire teaching career!
The mother was shocked at the feedback, withdrew
her son from the school and even moved to another
town!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an
incurable heart disease. All the doctors strongly
advised her to have an open heart operation, which
only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other
options, the teacher decided to have the operation,
which was successful.
When she opened her eyes after the surgery, she saw
a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted
to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to
turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him
something but eventually died!
The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out
what went wrong. When he turned around, he saw our
friend Akpos, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who
had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his
phone charger!
(Don’t tell me you thought that Akpos became a
doctor?)
```✒SOMEONE HAS WRITTEN THESE 10 BEAUTIFUL LINES. READ and TRY to UNDERSTAND the DEEPER MEANING of THEM.
�� 1). PRAYER is not a "spare wheel" that YOU PULL OUT when IN trouble, but it is a "STEERING WHEEL" that DIRECT the RIGHT PATH THROUGHOUT LIFE.
��2). Why is a CAR'S WINDSHIELD so LARGE & the REAR VIEW MIRROR so small? BECAUSE our PAST is NOT as IMPORTANT as OUR FUTURE. So, LOOK AHEAD and MOVE ON.
��3). FRIENDSHIP is like a BOOK. It takes a FEW SECONDS to BURN, but it TAKES YEARS to WRITE.
��4). All THINGS in LIFE are TEMPORARY. If they are GOING WELL, ENJOY them, they WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. If they are going wrong, don't WORRY, THEY CAN'T LAST LONG EITHER.
��5). Old FRIENDS are GOLD! NEW friends are DIAMONDS! If you GET a DIAMOND, DON'T FORGET the GOLD! To HOLD a DIAMOND, you ALWAYS NEED a BASE of GOLD!
��6). Often when WE LOSE HOPE and THINK this is the END, GOD SMILES from ABOVE and SAYS, "RELAX, SWEETHEART; it's JUST a BEND, NOT THE END!"
��7). When GOD SOLVES your PROBLEMS, you HAVE FAITH in HIS ABILITIES; when GOD DOESN'T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS, HE has FAITH in YOUR ABILITIES.
��8). A BLIND PERSON asked GOD: "CAN THERE be ANYTHING WORSE THAN LOSING EYE SIGHT?" HE REPLIED: "YES, LOSING YOUR VISION!"
��9). When YOU PRAY for OTHERS, GOD LISTEN to YOU and BLESSES THEM, and SOMETIMES, when you are SAFE and HAPPY, REMEMBER that SOMEONE has PRAYED for YOU.
��10). WORRYING does NOT TAKE AWAY TOMORROW'S TROUBLES; IT TAKES AWAY today's PEACE.
If you ENJOYED this, please COPY it and PASS it to OTHERS. It may BRIGHTEN SOMEONE else's DAY, too.....```
A 16 year old boy ask his Mom:
"Mom, what are you going to get
me for my 18th birthday ??
The Mother answers, "son
that's still a long way"
The boy turns 17 & one day he went into comma.
His Mom took him to the hospital
& the doctor said
"Madam your child has a bad
heart".
The child Says,
"did he tell you I'm going to die?
Mom Starts crying"
The boy finally recovers on
his 18th Birthday, he comes
home& on his bed was a
letter his mom had left him.
The letter said "Son if you are
reading this, is because
everything went well.
Remember the day you asked me
what was I going to give you on your 18th birthday & I didn't know what to Answer you??
"I gave you my heart" take care of it and happy Birthday Son"
The mother was dead coz she had
to give up her heart to her son
Nothing is bigger than MOM's Heart...
If you are touched plz broadcast this
*if you don't love your MOTHER
just ignore this but remember
God is watching
That's why MoM spelled upside down is WoW !
Send dis to 20 ppl.
U'll be Happy forever. Don't Neglect.
#
I SENT This TO ALL MY CONTACTS BCOZ I LOVE MY
MOTHER MORE THAN THE WORLD..
: MOM
MOM
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
M O M
MOM
MOM
I �� my mom
What is *GOBE*?
.
*GOBE* is when you give a beautiful girl a lift
and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and when you get there, the doctor says
she's pregnant and congratulates you that you are
going to be father very soon. You then shout that
you are not the father and the girl says you are the
father....
Things are now getting *GOBEFUL*.
You require a DNA test to prove you are
not the father...
Things are now getting *GOBESTIC* when
the doctor comes with the result saying you can
not be a father because you are infertile... You are
relieved, but on your way home you
remember
you are married with three kids at home!...
Now you are extremely *GOBECIOUS*.
Now, you begin to ask yourself who is the
father of those kids... You get home to find out
that the gateman is their real father. You are now
*GOBEDED*..
U decided to travel home to complain to ur mother
about the latest development.. And ur Mum with
tears running down her cheeks tells u,my son..
I'm so sowie... Ur Dad ain't really ur Dad...
Then u know that things are now
*GOBESTICATED*
Only those who are from *GOBERIAN* will laff alone without follow this account on twitter{www.twitter.com/olalere farouk}so don't live a life of *GOBEOLOGY* and share with others����
.
Instagram √ official_darex
Facebook √ classic ola dammy
Twitter √ olalere farouk
*EPL 2016~2017*
*⚽ARSENAL DECEMBER 2016*
West ham vs Arsenal
Arsenal vs Stoke City
Everton vs Arsenal
Man City vs Arsenal
Arsenal vs West Brom
*⚽CHELSEA DECEMBER 2016*
Man City vs Chelsea
Chelsea vs West Brom
Sunderland vs Chelsea
C. Palace vs Chelsea
Chelsea vs Bournemouth
Chelsea vs Stoke City
*⚽LIVERPOOL DECEMBER 2016*
Bournemouth vs Liverpool
Liverpool vs West Ham
Middlesbrough vs Liverpool
Everton vs Liverpool
Liverpool vs Stoke City
Liverpool vs Man City
*⚽MAN CITY DECEMBER 2016*
Man City vs Chelsea Leicester City vs Man City
Man City vs Watford
Man City vs Arsenal
Hull City vs Man City
Liverpool vs Man City
*⚽MAN UTD DECEMBER 2016*
Everton vs Man Utd
Man Utd vs Tottenham
C. Palace vs Man Utd
West Brom vs Man Utd
Man Utd vs Sunderland
Man Utd vs Middlesbrough
Have u checkd d result of d life exam written last month?" If "No", here are ur scores; I checked dem 4 u dis morning:
- Long life: A1
- Sickness: F9
- Knowledge: A1
- Riches: A1
- Happiness: A1
But u were absent in d following subjects:
- Hardship
- Difficulties.
The following subjects were also withheld:
- Disease
- Suffering.
Furthermore, u did not register 4:
- Premature Death and
- Satanic Oppression.
U are hereby promoted 2 a new level of greatness. CONGRATULATIONS!
Send dis to all u care about, but send it to me 1st.
Who are the 12 friends u can't forget in ur life ever? Msg only those 12 just like I did. Lets see how many msgs u get back! Start sending. Be honest! Only 12
