Transfer news

Real Madrid target Aubameyang 'has his price', says Dortmund chief Watzke

Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke has admitted Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang could leave the club if the price is right, but he is confident the Gabon international will remain for the foreseeable future.

Aubameyang is continually being linked with a move away from the Bundesliga club, with Real Madrid reported to be topping his list of admirers.

"Of course, everyone has his price in football, regardless of who we are talking about. But we are not even thinking about a transfer at the moment, because there is nothing happening for now."

"And if an offer comes in that does turn his head, we will sit down and discuss it. But even that does not mean he will definitely leave. Auba still has a long-term contract here [until 2020]," he said.

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Premier league news

Zlatan: I taught Mkhitaryan how to do the scorpion kick!

Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has claimed that he showed team-mate Henrikh Mkhitaryan how to perform the scorpion kick goal he scored against Sunderland.

Ibrahimovic's goalscoring exploits saw him win the Premier League Player of the Month award for December, but Mkhitaryan lifted the Goal of the Month trophy following his acrobatic effort in the Boxing Day clash.

Due to his Player of the Month win, Ibrahimovic also receives a special version of his FIFA 17 Ultimate Team card with improved statistics, which is available to players through special Squad Building Challenges.

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Premier league news

Man Utd land double as Ibrahimovic & Mkhitaryan win Player & Goal of the Month awards

Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been named the Premier League's Player of the Month for December.

United won five and drew another of those six games, with Ibrahimovic's league tally now up to 13 for the season, just one behind Chelsea's Diego Costa at the top of the scoring charts.

He is the first United player to win the award this season, with Raheem Sterling, Son Heung-min, Eden Hazard and Costa the previous winners.

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Premier league news

Conte sets Premier League record with third Manager of the Month award in a row

Antonio Conte has set a Premier League record by being named Manager of the Month for the third time in a row.

The Chelsea manager has taken the award for December after his side won all five of their league matches against Manchester City, West Brom, Sunderland, Crystal Palace and Bournemouth.

Conte also took the awards for October and November, as Chelsea embarked on a 13-match winning streak that leaves them with a five-point advantage over nearest challengers Liverpool.

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Premier league statistic

*PREMIER LEAGUE STATISTICS*
*wins*
1. Chelsea 16
2. Liverpool 13
3. Manchester City 13
4. Arsenal 12
5. Tottenham Hotspur 12
6. Manchester United 11
7. Everton 8
8. West Bromwich Albion 8
9. Bournemouth 7
10. Burnley 7
11. Southampton 6
12. Stoke City 6
13. Watford 6
14. West Ham United 6
15. Leicester City 5
16. Crystal Palace 4
17. Middlesbrough 4
18. Sunderland 4
19. Swansea City 4
20. Hull City 3
*Losses*
1. Hull City 13
2. Sunderland 13
3. Swansea City 13
4. Crystal Palace 12
5. Burnley 11
6. Watford 10
7. West Ham United 10
8. Bournemouth 9
9. Leicester City 9
10. Middlesbrough 9
11. Southampton 8
12. Stoke City 8
13. West Bromwich Albion 7
14. Everton 6
15. Manchester City 4
16. Arsenal 3
17. Chelsea 3
18. Manchester United 3
19. Liverpool 2
20. Tottenham Hotspur 2
*goals*
1. Liverpool 48
2. Arsenal 44
3. Chelsea 42
4. Manchester City 41
5. Tottenham Hotspur 39
6. Manchester United 31
7. Crystal Palace 30
8. AFC Bournemouth 29
9. Everton 28
10. West Bromwich Albion 28
11. Leicester City 24
12. Stoke City 24
13. Swansea City 23
14. Watford 23
15. West Ham United 23
16. Burnley 22
17. Southampton 19
18. Sunderland 19
19. Hull City 17
20. Middlesbrough 17
*yellow cards*
1. Watford 47
2. Manchester United 46
3. Crystal Palace 45
4. Chelsea 44
5. Middlesbrough 44
6. West Bromwich Albion 44
7. Leicester City 43
8. West Ham United 43
9. Sunderland 42
10. Everton 40
11. Manchester City 40
12. Tottenham Hotspur 38
13. Burnley 37
14. Stoke City 36
15. Arsenal 34
16. Southampton 34
17. Bournemouth 32
18. Hull City 30
19. Liverpool 30
20. Swansea City 29
*red cards*
1. Manchester City 4
2. Sunderland 3
3. Watford 3
4. West Ham United 3
5. Bournemouth 2
6. Hull City 2
7. Southampton 2
8. Arsenal 1
9. Everton 1
10. Leicester City 1
11. Manchester United 1
12. Stoke City 1
*shots*
1. Tottenham Hotspur 363
2. Liverpool 352
3. Manchester United 341
4. Manchester City 327
5. Arsenal 305
6. Chelsea 305
7. Southampton 292
8. West Ham United 279
9. Everton 261
10. Crystal Palace 243
11. Bournemouth 235
12. Stoke City 230
13. Swansea City 230
14. Leicester City 221
15. Watford 213
16. Hull City 209
17. West Bromwich Albion 203
18. Sunderland 197
19. Burnley 189
20. Middlesbrough 182
*Shots On Target*
1. Liverpool 131
2. Tottenham Hotspur 124
3. Manchester United 120
4. Chelsea 109
5. Manchester City 109
6. Arsenal 102
7. Everton 96
8. Southampton 94
9. Swansea City 85
10. Bournemouth 82
11. Crystal Palace 82
12. Stoke City 74
13. Watford 72
14. Hull City 71
15. Leicester City 70
16. West Ham United 69
17. West Bromwich Albion 64
18. Burnley 61
19. Sunderland 58
20. Middlesbrough 50
*Hit Woodwork*
1. Manchester United 14
2. AFC Bournemouth 13
3. Manchester City 12
4. Tottenham Hotspur 11
5. Arsenal 10
6. Liverpool 10
7. Stoke City 10
8. West Ham United 9
9. Southampton 8
10. Chelsea 7
11. Everton 7
12. Hull City 5
13. Leicester City 5
14. Crystal Palace 4
15. Middlesbrough 4
16. Swansea City 4
17. Burnley 3
18. Watford 3
19. West Bromwich Albion 3
20. Sunderland 1
*Goals With Header*
1. Arsenal 11
2. West Bromwich Albion 11
3. West Ham United 10
4. Crystal Palace 9
5. Everton 9
6. Liverpool 8
7. Manchester United 7
8. Leicester City 6
9. Middlesbrough 6
10. Tottenham Hotspur 6
11. Bournemouth 5
12. Swansea City 5
13. Manchester City 3
14. Southampton 3
15. Stoke City 3
16. Watford 3
17. Burnley 2
18. Chelsea 2
19. Hull City 1
*Penalties Scored*
1. Liverpool 5
2. Sunderland 5
3. AFC Bournemouth 4
4. Leicester City 4
5. Manchester City 4
6. Tottenham Hotspur 4
7. Stoke City 3
8. Swansea City 3
9. West Ham United 3
10. Arsenal 2
11. Burnley 2
12. Chelsea 2
13. Crystal Palace 2
14. Everton 2
15. Hull City 2
16. Southampton 2
17. Watford 2
18. Manchester United 1
19. Middlesbrough 1
20. West Bromwich Albion 1
*Goals From Freekick*
1. Everton 2
2. Hull City 2
3. Manchester City 2
4. Stoke City 2
5. Arsenal 1
6. Burnley 1
7. Liverpool 1
8. Swansea City 1
9. West Bromwich Albion 1
10. West Ham United 1
*Goals From Inside Box*
1. Liverpool 41
2. Arsenal 40
3. Tottenham Hotspur 38
4. Chelsea 37
5. Manchester City 36
6. Crystal Palace 28
7. Manchester United 27
8. AFC Bournemouth 26
9. Everton 26
10. West Bromwich Albion 24
11. Swansea City 21
12. Watford 21
13. West Ham United 21
14. Leicester City 20
15. Stoke City 20
16. Sunderland 18
17. Burnley 16
18. Middlesbrough 16
19. Southampton 16
20. Hull City 14
*Goals From Outside Box*
1. Liverpool 7
2. Burnley 6
3. Chelsea 5
4. Manchester City 5
5. Arsenal 4
6. Leicester City 4
7. Manchester United 4
8. Stoke City 4
9. West Bromwich Albion 4
10. AFC Bournemouth 3
11. Hull City 3
12. Southampton 3
13. Crystal Palace 2
14. Everton 2
15. Swansea City 2
16. Watford 2
17. West Ham United 2
18. Middlesbrough 1
19. Sunderland 1
20. Tottenham Hotspur 1
*Goals From Counter Attack*
1. Chelsea 3
2. Manchester City 3
3. Arsenal 2
4. Burnley 2
5. Tottenham Hotspur 2
6. West Bromwich Albion 2
7. Bournemouth 1
8. Leicester City 1
9. Manchester United 1
10. Middlesbrough 1
*offsides*
1. Burnley 59
2. Manchester United 55
3. Arsenal 51
4. Manchester City 47
5. Everton 45
6. Hull City 43
7. Stoke City 43
8. Liverpool 41
9. Tottenham Hotspur 39
10. Chelsea 38
11. Southampton 37
12. Sunderland 37
13. West Ham United 37
14. Bournemouth 31
15. West Bromwich Albion 31
16. Leicester City 30
17. Crystal Palace 29
18. Swansea City 29
19. Middlesbrough 27
20. Watford 27
*clean sheets*
1. Chelsea 11
2. Tottenham Hotspur 8
3. Manchester United 7
4. Southampton 7
5. Arsenal 6
6. Bournemouth 6
7. Liverpool 6
8. Middlesbrough 6
9. Stoke City 6
10. Everton 5
11. Leicester City 5
12. West Ham United 5
13. Burnley 4
14. Manchester City 4
15. Swansea City 3
16. Watford 3
17. West Bromwich Albion 3
18. Sunderland 2
19. Crystal Palace 1
20. Hull City 1
*Goals Conceded*
1. Swansea City 45
2. Hull City 44
3. Crystal Palace 37
4. Sunderland 37
5. Watford 36
6. West Ham United 35
7. AFC Bournemouth 34
8. Stoke City 32
9. Burnley 31
10. Leicester City 31
11. Southampton 25
12. West Bromwich Albion 24
13. Everton 23
14. Liverpool 23
15. Arsenal 22
16. Manchester City 22
17. Middlesbrough 22
18. Manchester United 19
19. Chelsea 15
20. Tottenham Hotspur 14
*saves*
1. Sunderland 92
2. Burnley 87
3. Hull City 78
4. West Ham United 73
5. West Bromwich Albion 70
6. Leicester City 65
7. Stoke City 65
8. Swansea City 61
9. AFC Bournemouth 59
10. Crystal Palace 58
11. Middlesbrough 56
12. Watford 56
13. Arsenal 54
14. Everton 45
15. Manchester United 43
16. Tottenham Hotspur 43
17. Liverpool 40
18. Manchester City 36
19. Chelsea 35
20. Southampton 32
*blocks*
1. Hull City 121
2. Burnley 119
3. Sunderland 85
4. Stoke City 84
5. Middlesbrough 82
6. AFC Bournemouth 80
7. Everton 77
8. Swansea City 76
9. Leicester City 74
10. West Bromwich Albion 72
11. Watford 66
12. Crystal Palace 64
13. Tottenham Hotspur 61
14. West Ham United 61
15. Southampton 54
16. Manchester United 48
17. Arsenal 45
18. Chelsea 43
19. Liverpool 41
20. Manchester City 32
*Interceptions*
1. West Ham United 352
2. Manchester United 351
3. Arsenal 339
4. Burnley 323
5. Middlesbrough 322
6. Sunderland 315
7. Crystal Palace 305
8. Hull City 303
9. West Bromwich Albion 288
10. Chelsea 287
11. Leicester City 287
12. Southampton 285
13. Swansea City 273
14. Watford 273
15. Manchester City 259
16. AFC Bournemouth 250
17. Everton 244
18. Stoke City 239
19. Liverpool 216
20. Tottenham Hotspur 177

Chelsea seek 60,000 capasity stadium

New Stamford Bridge Stadium

Chelsea Football Club have announced that they are seeking planning permission to build a new 60,000 capacity stadium on the existing Stamford Bridge site. This would mean demolishing the existing ground and building a new stadium in its place.

With Stamford Bridge having a capacity of under 42,000, the Club have been looking for sometime at ways to further increase it. Initially it was felt that because of the small footprint that the present ground stands upon, that it would be better to look at building a new stadium elsewhere. In 2012 the Club announced plans to bid for the Battersea Power Station site, on which to build a new stadium. However after this fell through and with a lack of available land nearby, the Club began looking again at the Stamford Bridge site.
The plans submitted by the Club to Hammersmith and Fulham Council for approval, show that apart from requiring additional vehicular access to the stadium and better pedestrian access to Fulham Broadway Station, then the need for additional land to build the new stadium is minimal. The plans also include designs for the new stadium by Swiss Architects Herzog & de Meuron (one of which is shown above), This company also designed the Bird's Nest Stadium in Beijing and it is probably no surprise that the the new proposed Stamford Bridge looks not only striking, but quite unusual. It will be interesting to see the reaction of local residents to the prospect of this new larger stadium being on their doorstep.
If successful in their application, then work could begin in 2017, with the Club needing to groundshare for at least the 2017/18 season. It is believed that the stadium would cost in the region of £500m to build.
With Arsenal already having a 60,000 capacity stadium, West Ham moving to the 54,000 capacity Olympic Stadium this year and with Tottenham commencing on building a new 61,000 stadium, then this Stamford Bridge redevelopment would keep them on par with their London rivals. Plus as the table below shows, then currently Stamford Bridge if left undeveloped will in a couple of years will be the 10th largest stadium in the Premier League. If the new Stamford Bridge Stadium were to go ahead then it would become the fourth largest.
Premier League Capacities (including development proposals going ahead)
1. Manchester United (Old Trafford) 76,100
2. Tottenham Hotspur (White Hart Lane) 61,000 from 2018
3. Arsenal (Emirates Stadium) 60,432
4. Manchester City (Etihad Stadium) 55,097
5. Liverpool (Anfield) 54,000 from 2016/2017 season
6. West Ham United (Olympic Stadium) 54,000 from 2016/17 season
7. Newcastle United (St James' Park) 52,401
8. Sunderland (Stadium of Light) 49,000
9. Aston Villa (Villa Park) 42,785
10 Chelsea (Stamford Bridge) 41,623

Source: Football Ground guide

How to maintain a good health

Please forward:

"Dr. Liu Yiping , encouraged each person receiving this newsletter to  forward it to another ten people, certainly at least one life will be saved ... I've done my part, I hope you can help do your part. thanks!

Drinking hot lemon water can prevent cancer. Don't add sugar. Hot lemon water is more beneficial than cold lemon water.

Both yellow n purple sweet potato have good cancer prevention properties.

01. Often taking late night supper can increase the chance of stomach cancer

02. Never take more than 4 eggs per week

03. Eating pope's nose (chicken backside) can cause stomach cancer

04. Never eat fruits after meal. Fruits should be eaten before meals

05. Don't take tea during menstruation period.

06. Take less soy milk, no adding sugar or egg to soy milk

07. Don't eat tomato with empty stomach

08. Drink a glass of plain water every morning before food to prevent gall bladder stones

09. No food 3 hrs before bed time

10. Drink less Teh Tarik, no nutritional properties but can cause diabetes and hypertension

11. Do not eat toast bread when it is hot from oven or toaster

12. Do not charge your handphone or any device next to you when you are sleeping

13. Drink 10 glasses of water a day to prevent bladder cancer

14. Drink more water in the day time, less at night

15. Don't drink more than 2 cups of coffee a day, may cause insomnia and gastric

16. Eat less oily food. It takes 5-7 hrs to digest them, makes you feel tired

17. After 5pm, eat less

18. Six types of food that makes you happy: banana, grapefruit, whole meal bread, spinach, pumpkin, peach.

19. Sleeping less than 8 hrs a day may deteriorate our brain function. Taking Afternoon naps may keep our youthful look.

Cooked tomato has better healing properties than the raw tomato.

Hot lemon water can sustain your health and make you live longer!

Hot lemon water kills cancer cells

Add hot water to 2-3 slices of lemon. Make it a daily drink

The bitterness in hot lemon water is the best substance to kill cancer cells.

Cold lemon water only has vitamin C, no cancer prevention.

Hot lemon water can control cancer tumor growth.

Clinical tests have proven hot lemon water works.

This type of Lemon extract treatment will only destroy the malignant cells, it does not affect healthy cells.

Next... citric acid and lemon polyphenol in side lemon juice, can help reduce high blood pressure, effective prevention of deep vein thrombosis, improve blood circulation, and reduce blood clots.

No matter how busy you are:

After reading, share with others to take good care of their own health!

Predictions for the rest of bpl

At the same time, though, one thing seems clear: This is going to be a season in which all of the top six accrue a higher-than-normal points total. The average for fourth place over the past five seasons has been 71.4 points; far more are likely to be needed in the current campaign to secure Champions League football.

With that in mind, here are predictions for the remaining 18 rounds.

1. Chelsea (87 points)

Currently: First, 49 points

Wins: Hull (h), Arsenal (h), Burnley (a), Swansea (h), Watford (h), Crystal Palace (h), Man City (h), Southampton (h), Everton (h), West Brom (a), Sunderland (h)

Draws: Leicester (a), Liverpool (a), West Ham (a), Bournemouth (a), Middlesbrough (h)

Losses: Stoke (a), Man United (a)

2. Manchester City (84)

Currently: Fourth, 43 points

Wins: Swansea (h), Bournemouth (a), Sunderland (h), Stoke (h), Liverpool (h), Arsenal (a), Hull (h), West Brom (h), Middlesbrough (a), Crystal Palace (h), Leicester (h), Watford (a)

Draws: Everton (h), West Ham (a), Tottenham (h), Man United (h), Southampton (a)

Losses: Chelsea (a)

3. Liverpool (82)

Currently: Second, 44 points

Wins: Swansea (h), Hull (a), Leicester (a), Burnley (h), Everton (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h), Watford (a), Southampton (h), West Ham (a), Middlesbrough (h)

Draws: Man United (a), Chelsea (h), Arsenal (h), Tottenham (h), Stoke (a)

Losses: Man City (a), West Brom (a)

4. Tottenham (77)

Currently: Third, 42 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Sunderland (a), Middlesbrough (h), Stoke (h), Southampton (h), Swansea (a), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h), Hull (a)

Draws: Man City (a), Liverpool (a), Everton (h), Burnley (a), Leicester (a), Arsenal (h), West Ham (a), Man United (h)

Losses: Crystal Palace (a)

Too many draws with put paid to Tottenham's Premier League title hopes.

5. Manchester United (77)

Currently: Sixth, 39 points

Wins: Hull (h), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h), Southampton (a), Leicester (a), West Brom (h), Everton (h), Sunderland (a), Chelsea (h), Swansea (h), Crystal Palace (h),

Draws: Liverpool (h), Stoke (a), Man City (a), Arsenal (a), Tottenham (a)

Losses: Middlesbrough (a), Burnley (a)

6. Arsenal (76)

Currently: Fifth, 41 points

Wins: Swansea (a), Burnley (h), Watford (h), Hull (h), Leicester (h), West Ham (h), Crystal Palace (a), Middlesbrough (a), Sunderland (h), Stoke (a)

Draws: West Brom (a), Tottenham (a), Man United (h), Liverpool (a), Everton (h)

Losses: Chelsea (a), Southampton (a), Man City (h)

7. Everton (54)

Currently: Seventh, 30 points

Wins: Bournemouth (h), Sunderland (h), West Brom (h), Hull (h), Burnley (h), Watford (h)

Draws: Man City (h), Stoke (a), Middlesbrough (a), Tottenham (a), Swansea (a), Arsenal (a)

Losses: Crystal Palace (a), Liverpool (a), Man United (a), Leicester (h), West Ham (a), Chelsea (a),

8. West Brom (47)

Currently: Eighth, 29 points

Wins: Sunderland (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h), Liverpool (h)

Draws: Stoke (h), Arsenal (h), Watford (a), Southampton (h), Leicester (h), Swansea (a)

Losses: Tottenham (a), Middlesbrough (a), West Ham (a), Everton (a), Man United (a), Man City (a), Burnley (a), Chelsea (h)

9. Leicester (45)

Currently: 15th, 21 points

Wins: Swansea (a), Hull (h), Stoke (h), Sunderland (h), Everton (a), Watford (h), Bournemouth (h)

Draws: Chelsea (h), Burnley (a), Tottenham (h), West Brom (a)

Losses: Southampton (a), Liverpool (h), Crystal Palace (a), Arsenal (a), Man United (h), West Ham (a), Man City (a)

There will be no repeat of last season's celebrations, but Leicester will be good enough for a top-10 finish.

10. Bournemouth (44)

Currently: Ninth, 25 points

Wins: Watford (h), West Ham (h), Swansea (h), Middlesbrough (h), Stoke (h)

Draws: Hull (a), Crystal Palace (h), Chelsea (h), Burnley (h)

Losses: Everton (a), Man City (h), West Brom (a), Man United (a), Southampton (a), Liverpool (a), Tottenham (a), Sunderland (a), Leicester (a)

11. Stoke (44)

Currently: 11th, 24 points

Wins: Sunderland (a), Middlesbrough (h), Chelsea (h), West Ham (h), Hull (h)

Draws: Man United (h), Everton (h), West Brom (a), Liverpool (h), Southampton (a)

Losses: Crystal Palace (h), Tottenham (a), Man City (a), Leicester (a), Burnley (a), Swansea (a), Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (h)

12. Southampton (42)

Currently: 10th, 24 points

Wins: Leicester (h), Arsenal (h), Bournemouth (h), Crystal Palace (h)

Draws: Burnley (a), West Ham (h), West Brom (a), Man City (h), Middlesbrough (a), Stoke (h)

Losses: Swansea (a), Sunderland (a), Watford (a), Man United (h), Tottenham (a), Chelsea (a), Hull (h), Liverpool (a)

13. West Ham (41)

Currently: 13th, 22 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Leicester City (h), Swansea (h), Everton (h)

Draws: Crystal Palace (h), Man City (h), Middlesbrough (a), Southampton (a), Chelsea (h), Hull (a), Tottenham (h)

Losses: Watford (a), Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (a), Sunderland (a), Stoke (a), Liverpool (h), Burnley (a)

14. Burnley (40)

Currently: 12th, 23 points

Wins: Stoke (h), Man United (h), West Brom (h), West Ham (h)

Draws: Southampton (h), Leicester (h), Sunderland (a), Tottenham (h), Bournemouth (a)

Losses: Arsenal (a), Watford (a), Chelsea (h), Hull (a), Swansea (a), Liverpool (a), Middlesbrough (a), Everton (a), Crystal Palace (a)

Burnley's strong home form will be enough to save them from relegation.

15. Crystal Palace (39)

Currently: 17th, 16 points

Wins: Everton (h), Stoke (a), Tottenham (h), Burnley (h), Hull (h), Leicester (h)

Draws: West Ham (a), Bournemouth (a), Sunderland (h), Middlesbrough (h), Watford (h),

Losses: West Brom (a), Chelsea (a), Southampton (a), Arsenal (h), Liverpool (a), Man City (a), Man United (a)

16. Watford (38)

Currently: 14th, 22 points

Wins: Burnley (h), West Ham (h), Southampton (h), Sunderland (h)

Draws: Middlesbrough (h), Crystal Palace (a), West Brom (h), Hull (a)

Losses: Bournemouth (a), Arsenal (a), Man United (a), Chelsea (a), Tottenham (a), Swansea (h), Liverpool (h), Leicester (a), Everton (a), Man City (h)

17. Middlesbrough (36)

Currently: 16th, 19 points

Wins: West Brom (h), Man United (h), Burnley (h)

Draws: Watford (a), West Ham (h), Everton (h), Crystal Palace (a), Sunderland (h), Swansea (a), Chelsea (a), Southampton (h)

Losses: Tottenham (a), Stoke (a), Hull (a), Arsenal (h), Bournemouth (a), Man City (h), Liverpool (a)

18. Swansea (32)

Currently: 19th, 15 points

Wins: Southampton (h), Burnley (h), Watford (h), Stoke (h)

Draws: Hull (a), Middlesbrough (h), Everton (h), Sunderland (a), West Brom (h)

Losses: Arsenal (h), Liverpool (a), Man City (a), Leicester (h), Chelsea (a), Bournemouth (a), West Ham (a), Man United (a), Tottenham (h)

19. Sunderland (31)

Currently: 18th, 15 points

Wins: Southampton (h), West Ham (h), Bournemouth (h), Hull (a)

Draws: Crystal Palace (a), Middlesbrough (a), Burnley (h), Swansea (h)

Losses: Stoke (h), West Brom (a), Tottenham (h), Everton (a), Man City (h), Watford (a), Leicester (a), Man United (h), Arsenal (a), Chelsea (a)

20. Hull (26)

Currently: 20th, 13 points

Wins: Burnley (h), Middlesbrough (h), Southampton (a)

Draws: Bournemouth (h), Swansea (h), West Ham (h), Watford (h)

Losses: Chelsea (a), Man United (a), Liverpool (h), Arsenal (a), Leicester (a), Everton (a), Stoke (a), Man City (a), Sunderland (h), Crystal Palace (a), Tottenham (h)

Mobile phone(safety use)

*CAN ELECTRICITY ENTER OUR BODY THROUGH THE FLASH OF DIGITAL CAMERA...?
*Yes 100% it can happen........*

�� This is a true incident, which happened with a 21 year old boy
studying engineering. He died in Keshwani hospital. He was admitted
in the hospital in burned conditions.

�� The reason........??
He went to Amrawati for study tour, while coming back, he was waiting for train at railway station along with his friends.
Many of them were taking group photo in their mobiles with digital camera.

�� This boy was also there and trying to take group photo. The place where this
boy was standing, complete group photo was not coming. So to get complete group
photo he went a little back.

�� The place where he was standing, there was a electric wire with 40,000 volt. As soon as he pressed the button of digital camera, the electricity of 40,000 volt entered the camera through the flash and then the fingers and then whole body.

�� All this happened in a fraction of few seconds and his 50% of his body was burnt, in that condition he was brought to Keshwani hospital , and then to Mumbai in an ambulance. He was unconscious for 1 and 1/2 days. As his body 50% burnt, doctors were having less hope for him. Later on he died.

�� Avoid using mobile phones at petrol pumps.

�� Avoid using mobile phones when you are driving.

�� When mobile is on charging don't receive call,
1st remove the charging pin and then receive the call.

�� When mobile is on charge don't put it on bed or wooden furniture.

�� Pls don't use mobile phone/digital camera -flash at railway stations or any other place, where there is a heavy electricity wire.

��Don't use mobile phones where there is high electromagnetic waves or near electricity  transformers etc.

��Don't use mobile phone in the rain during lightning and thunder and if you must stay far away from windows and doors..

Pls do share with all your family & friends.

Funny(birth day,month and year)

Find your Birthday month,day and year and form a Sentence...������And text your sentence to me

*_SELECT A MONTH_*
*JAN*: I need
*FEB*: I killed
*MAR*: I slept with
*APR*: I raped
*MAY*: I slapped
*JUN*: I hugged
*JUL*: I played with
*AUG*: I jumped on
*SEP*: I got drunk with
*OCT*: I spit
*NOV*: I kissed
*DEC*: I love

*_SELECT A DAY_*

*01*- SomeOne
*02*- a donkey
*03*- a monkey
*04*- a baboon
*05*- an elephant
*06*- my cousin
*07*- a cat
*08*- Ronaldo
*09*- Nicky Minaj
*10*- a clown
*11*- a drunkard
*12*- a virgin
*13*- a hobo
*14*- a genius
*15*- a gorilla
*16*- Chris Brown
*17*- a pig
*18*- a model
*19*- nobody
*20*- my dog
*21*- my first love
*22*- my ex
*23*- an old man
*24*- a dinosaur
*25*- Kim Kardashian
*26*- a prostitute
*27*- the lecturer
*28*- my best friend
*29*- my girlfriend/boyfriend
*30*- an old friend
*31*- an idiot

*_SELECT THE YEAR OF BIRTH_*
*1980*- in a bar
*1981*- in a car park
*1982*- in a dirty pond
*1983*- in an ocean
*1984*- in a police van
*1985*- in a garage
*1986*- in a forest
*1987*- in a swimming pool
*1988*- in a toilet
*1989*- in a garden
*1990*- in a hotel room
*1991*- in a bus
*1992*- in a taxi
*1993*- on my bed
*1994*- in the river
*1995*- in our room
*1996*- on thr playground
*1997*- with out my pants
*1998*- on my house
*1999*- with my eyes open
*2000*- but I'm lying
*2001*- with my eyes closed
*2002*- under the bed
*2003*- in the tree
*2004*-in a beach house
_SEND ME YOUR SENTENCE_����Send this to your people..����I hope u play with��

Funny but true(further maths)

  *
_FUNNY BUT TRUE !!!_

*1*. Remember Further Maths (aka _Additional Mathematics_) ???
They warned you that it'd be tough so you committed to listening attentively from the very beginning...

*2*. ...things started very well. 2a+8a = 10a. Easy beans. You are happy. This thing is not so hard. You are following it. Very happy.

*3*. Then slowly, you don't see any number again, just letters fighting Jackie Chan on the board; Sin 0/Cos 0 = A/Bx find *x*.... ahan. You vexed!

*4*. You went back to your note, & started thinking, "at what point did I miss it? Why did the teacher eliminate numbers? Why is *"x"* important?"

*5*. You say ok, may be it is just this part. Then the teacher goes, find *x* if α%*¤< + & @%β^ = &^^# *x*.
You ask the teacher, _"please give us a clue Sir"_

*6*. In your head, you are thinking, "how can you tell me to find *x* when I can't even find all the things surrounding *x*?"

*7*. At that point, you start to dream about your blessed and assured *"F"* in WAEC. To avoid it, you look for a friend to explain better to you.

*8*. This time, you didn't even look for the girl you were tripping for to come teach you because this time...u really want to learn

*9*. You remember your parents, the school fees and the "F" you were already dreaming about. You didn't fool yourself. You looked for your guy.

*10*. You even bought that expensive Further Maths text book. That one where after page one, everything else is written in tongues.

*11*. You bought rechargeable lamp. Called your mum to bring more provisions because "I now read at night and I get hungry"

*12*. You mean business. You want to know how ordinary numbers suddenly changed to Chinese language before your eyes.

*13*. You friend is even kind. He started with BODMAS. He makes you understand nothing in Further Maths is beyond BODMAS. You are happy. Easy.

*14*. After two hours of learning, you got everything. Your friend should be a teacher you thought. He teaches better. Wow! You feel really good!

*15*. Back in the hostel alone, you picked two easy "problems," did wuru wuru to the answer. You checked the back for answer. Yay! You gorrit!

*16*. Back in class, the teacher is not even writing letters that you know again, he has gone Greek on you. Tetha, Beta, Alpha...argh!

*17*. As if that wasn't evil enough, he combines them, "tan _tetha_" "cos _tetha_" and he draws one snake that look like  _*S*_ like this.......!!!

*18*. That was the point the *"F"* in your dream became flesh and formed tears on your face. You must call mummy. You know that.

*19*. Then something in you said, don't call her. She will think you are an _*Olodo*_ if you don't do "Science class". So you didn't bother.

*20*. You simply just gave yourself brain. Ran faster than _light_ to see what was happening in *Art Class*

*21*. They were teaching them _"the Macpherson constitution"_ and what made the _"Clifford constitution"_ different.

*22*. Then they spoke about the _"Motion for Independence"_ and the _"1979 constitution."_ You felt at home.

*23*. Next day, you take the Further Maths text books and all the big books like it, over to CMS. *Sell them all !!!*
LOLzzz !

*24*. This is a true life story of real people who were really brilliant but had no business in "Science Class" but *"had"* to be there... just to form _Alagbará_

*25*. Society insists; smart people are in Science Class. The others join Art Class. This is tragic and really this ought to stop soon!

*26*. There are no dumb people. You are smart at what you thrive at and most of us thrive at something...

*27*. That I can't thrive at what you thrive at doesn't make me dumb. Usain Bolt will outrun LeBron James on the track. But in B'Ball? ..James wins !

*28*. To this day, some of you still judge yourself based on what your friends are achieving. Please, judge yourself against yourself alone!

.......

*30*. Don't make your life like football leagues where you check on the results of others to feel better.

*Have a blessed day*

How to make a man and a woman happy

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him in peace
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don't bother him with his movements

So what's so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

It's really not too difficult but... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. not stress her out
48. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

49. give her lots of attention
50. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
51. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

  52. Should learn not to ask for change when u give money for shopping. Whatever u give out becomes rightly hers no matter how big the note is.
.........
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS  SO GUYS MAKE SURE YOU DO AT LEAST HALF OF IT. THEN YOU WILL BE THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH.��������������������

American and Nigerian relationship

AMERICAN  RELATIONSHIP
1st day = Date
2nd day = Hug
3rd day = Hug again
4th day = Kiss
5th day = Long kiss
6th day = Sex
AFRICAN  RELATIONSHIP
1st day = KFC
2nd day = Chicken inn
3rd day = Pizza Inn
4th day = Agree
5th day = Date
6th day = Tried to hug but failed...
7th day = Hug
8th day = Tried to kiss but failed...
9th day = Kiss
10th day = Long kiss
11th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
12th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
13th day = Tried to have sex but failed...
14th day = RAPE!!!!!

��������������
��������������������������������

English Chinese

������My brother and sisters if u have never speak Chinese in your life  today is yr   chance because am going to make u speak it....
Just repeat these words fast: by saying:
MY SHOE SHALL SOON  SHINE������hw dose it sound in yr mouth?���� Don't spoil d fun just shear and make others smile too.

Yoruba people,,ehn

Yoruba people can't correct someone without adding insult as a suffix....

(1) "do it like this, ode"
(2) "press the red button, oponu"
(3) " Hold it for me, didirin!...
(4)" You can't greet person, alaileko
(5)" Give it to your broda jor, agbaaya
(6)" Go and baff jor, obun
(7)Go and do your assignment, olodo
(8)You better wake up... oloorυn iya
(9) Yago lona funmi jooor.... arindin.
(10) Iwo ni mounpe.... aditi
(11) Where are you coming from? Oni irin kurin
(12) stop writing on d wall. Baseje
(13)U forgot wat I told u just now alakogbagbe!
(14)So the one u eat is not enough, olonje iya
(15)Who put your mouth there, Saliu elenuu gbooro
(16) Is that where I asked you to put it, abunu
(17) I know you are laffing now...oniyeye
(18) Shaa forward to others... Amebo